and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
