NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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