Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
soo... how was my night?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
