Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
