should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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