if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
