Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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