Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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