im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
