I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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