I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
