It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
