She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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