Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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