I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
