I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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