So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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