Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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