oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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