is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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