on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
