it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
