yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
