Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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