so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
