I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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