i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
