South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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