You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
