he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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