How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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