That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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