i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
