When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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