The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
