shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you will always have a special place in my vag
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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