What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
