therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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