He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
