everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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