i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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