i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
