Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
