That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
