did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
