what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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