How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
