You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
