It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i think i just lost a toe
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
