so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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