You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
