fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
"it" just moved
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
