did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
