I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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