hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
