The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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