i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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