then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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