i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
