he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
