Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
