there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize