Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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