What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
