exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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