why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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