He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just gift wrapped bread.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
