There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
