you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
