sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
