There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
