I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
