I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
