at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
