3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize