I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
