Just cropdusted the office
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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